If you’ve been feeling the pull for a change but pull back every time you get close to acting on it, you’re not the only one.

Many women wait to feel ready. They wait for certainty, clarity or confidence to appear first. The truth is that moment rarely comes. Not because you aren’t capable, but because change doesn’t start with confidence. It starts with feeling safe enough to move.

When you don’t feel safe, you freeze. This is not a flaw. It is your nervous system doing its job and trying to protect you.

So let’s make this simple. Here’s how to prepare for a change when the fear feels louder than your self-belief.

Why change feels frightening even when you want it

Your brain is wired to protect you. When you think about a change, your threat system activates. The danger used to be a tiger. Now the danger feels like failing, being judged, losing stability or not coping.

Your mind offers a sensible-sounding line: “Not yet. Wait. You’re not ready.” It feels logical. It is actually fear in disguise.

The goal is not to remove fear. The goal is to understand it so it stops deciding for you.

Step 1: Get honest about the fear

Fear isn’t the problem. Hiding it is. Try naming it clearly.

“I’m scared I’ll fail.”
“I’m scared I won’t handle it.”
“I’m scared of losing what I have.”

Once you name it, it becomes something you can work with instead of something that quietly runs the show.

Step 2: Slow down the pace

Fear doesn’t always mean stop. Often it means take smaller steps.

Your nervous system wants steady progress, not a sprint. Small steps build capacity, which creates safety, which builds confidence.

Ask yourself: what is one step that feels doable without sending me into panic?
Maybe it’s updating your CV, telling one person the truth about what you want or researching options. Small is powerful. Small is movement.

Step 3: Build self-trust before you leap

You don’t freeze because you’re incapable. You freeze because you don’t trust you will cope if it gets hard.

Self-trust grows from evidence. You build it through small experiences that show you can follow through, make decisions and stay steady when things wobble.

This is a big part of the work I do. When self-trust grows, fear loses its grip.

Step 4: Make a grounded plan

A grounded plan is simple. It includes what you want, why you want it, your next three steps and how you plan to look after yourself. A perfect plan is usually overthinking dressed up as preparation. Grounded plans create movement. Perfect plans keep you stuck.

Step 5: Regulate your body

Your body needs to feel safe before it lets you take action.
Try slowing your breath, grounding your feet, unclenching your jaw, taking short walks or journaling the fear. Your system needs cues of safety so it can support you instead of shutting you down.

Confidence comes from a steady system, not a pressured mind.

Step 6: Choose safe support

People do not move through big change alone. Support is not about advice. It is about safety, clarity and pacing. Someone who can hold your wobble without feeding the panic.

This is at the heart of confidence coaching. You learn to trust yourself again so the next step stops feeling impossible.

Ready for some wider reading? Try these

Harvard Health: Regain your confidence.
Psychology Today: The paradox of confidence.

You don’t need to feel ready. You need to feel supported.

Readiness is a story your mind uses to avoid discomfort. Confidence won’t arrive before you act. It grows as you move, one steady step at a time.

If you’re standing on the edge of a change and freezing at the thought of acting on it, this is your moment to try a different approach.

Find out more about me and my story here.

👉 Book a Discovery Call if you want support to prepare for a change you’ve been avoiding. We can do this together.